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Relationship Violence

What is Violence?

Controlled, manipulated, or possessed behaviour can be confused with love. BUT IT IS NOT!

Violence occurs when someone uses power or control to make someone else feel hurt, scared, or humiliated. In a relationship, a pattern of behaviour is used to get someone to do what another person wants.


Being safe is the most important thing to remember. Making a safety plan involves identifying actions that you can do to optimize your safety.

  • Tell someone you trust (family/closest friend)    
  • Tell the police or your school counsellor
  • Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe
  • Write incidents down so you have a record
  • Try to avoid situations that could turn out badly


  • Physical Abuse. Pushing, kicking, punching, choking, shoving, hitting, beating, physical abuse with a weapon, torture
  • Emotional/Verbal Abuse. Insults, harassment, put downs, threats
  • Isolating you from your family or friends
  • Abusive language or yelling
  • Excessive jealousy

Sexual Abuse

  • Forcing you to have sex
  • Demanding or tricking you into doing sexual acts IMG_6353.jpg
  • Having sex with you when you were sleeping, unconscious, or not aware of what they were doing
  • Anything that compromises your sexual integrity
  • Criticizing body parts

Social Abuse

  • Making you do everything with him/her
  • Not letting you choose your own friends
  • Controlling your habits including clothing, social outings, etc

Financial Abuse

  • Controlling all your money
  • Stopping you from getting a job
  • Forcing you to do things for money
  • Selling your things without permission
  • Not allowing you to work

IMG_6359.jpgCycle of Violence

If you are in a violent relationship, you may notice that things tend to happen in a certain way. Violent relationships can be very confusing, but an abuser's actions usually have a pattern.

  • Build Up. This is when things are most tense. You can almost sense the stress without any conversation.
  • Explosion. This is the most dangerous time in a relationship. This is when the violence or threat happens.
  • Remorse. This is when your partner is most likely to apologize for their behaviour. He or she may give gifts or try to make up for the behaviour towards you. Sometimes the abuser may blame what happened on you.
  • The Honeymoon Period. This is when things seem better than they have been in a long time. This may lead you to think that the abuser has changed and will never abuse you or be violent again. In most cases, this is not true. The cycle will start again; it's only a matter of when.

Relationship Rights

A healthy relationship means that both people involved are equals. Both should treat each other with respect. Your partner should:

  • Value and respect your rights
  • Allow you to feel safe around them
  • Talk honestly and openly to help sort out any conflicts
  • Be able to negotiate and compromise
  • Accept when you change your mind or opinion
  • Understand and accept when you say NO
  • Let you feel good about yourself

The folowing video is a clip from a movie created by the Sudbury Action Center for Youth (SACY).  For more information or to purchase the video, click HERE.


For more information concerning Relationship Violence, click here.

To submit a tip anonymously by phone, email or text, click here.